You're doing a lot more than usual

by Dave Clark

I go on a trip overseas
and get these messages saying
that I seem to be doing a lot
more than usual
 
I am making the most
of packed-away moments
and several people are still surprised
and subtly criticise when they see me enjoy life
 
Micro-aggressive texts
contiki across continents
to suck the steam
from this dream holiday,
 
making me feel
like I’ve done something wrong
whenever I do
something fun
 
I chase occasions that transcend
chronic illness
and yet words strike
at these hard-fought steps,
 
flattening the topography
of my health, pounding it
to a plateau
of predictability
 
until I'm standing on an Arctic butte
veiled in pure snow
and can only feel the stinging cold
of their scolding
 
As my knees fall into the frozen
blanket spread beneath,
I make a ball of their slush
and sling it to where it belongs
 
so that nature’s song can be heard again,
the seraph sound of snowfall
mixed with the playful giggles
of someone so used to red desert dust

Dave Clark is a reliable human with unreliable health.
He is a writer-poet with chronic fatigue syndrome, living in Mparntwe (Alice Springs).
His writing speaks into grief, illness, justice and how we love and laugh together.
Dave works as a counsellor, creating space for stories of significance.
Instagram/X: @DaveClarkWriter